Children's whims and stubbornness represent the wrong reaction to external or internal stimuli. What should be understood by the physiological term "irritation"? This is any effect on the body, in particular on its nervous system. Such influences most often come from the external environment, but can also come from the organism itself, from its various internal organs. Finally, parts of the brain can be influenced by other parts. In turn, the central nervous system sends impulses that control all processes in the body.

Man reacts in one way or another to the influences of the outside world. For example, if you suddenly wave your hand in front of his eyes, he will definitely blink. This is an innate reaction, or an unconditioned reflex. But in the course of life, as experience is accumulated in a person, many new automatic reactions to stimuli are formed - conditioned reflexes. We involuntarily stop when we hear the rustle of car tires on the asphalt, we salivate at the sight of a well-set table, etc.

As the studies of Soviet physiologists have established, conditioned reflexes in children are formed quickly and persist for a long time. This means that it is relatively easy for a child to acquire certain behavioral skills, which then remain for life. If from an early age you teach your child to wash his hands before eating, to sit at the table correctly, to eat carefully, he will do this automatically in the future.

If the conditioned connection, the conditioned reflex is not reinforced from time to time, then it can disappear, like a meadow path disappears, overgrown with grass when people stop walking on it.

The biological significance of conditioned reflex activity is that new temporary connections enable the body to flexibly adapt to changing living conditions. In the process of raising children, it is sometimes necessary to extinguish conditioned reflexes that have become unnecessary or even harmful (for example, the habit of eating from the nipple), and to bring up other, new conditioned reflexes.

The activity of the human brain is manifested in two processes - irritation and inhibition. Being opposite to each other, they are at the same time organically combined, make up something single. The cerebral cortex, according to the figurative expression of Academician I.P. Pavlov, is a kind of complex mosaic, composed of excited and inhibited areas, a mosaic in constant motion, in constant changes.

The processes of excitation and inhibition are continuously interacting. Higher nervous activity is based on their extremely flexible, mobile balance. Inhibition has an important function - to protect extremely sensitive cells of the cerebral cortex from overexcitation, from increased energy expenditure. The stronger the irritation, the more difficult it is for the body to limit and inhibit it. Sometimes it is necessary to mobilize all the forces of the nervous system in order to suppress extreme excitement. Such a struggle may end in a breakdown, in disruption of normal nervous activity; a painful condition occurs.

In the cerebral cortex of the child, the processes of excitation are formed and develop earlier than the processes of inhibition. Observe the unclothed infant: its legs and arms are in continuous chaotic movement. Only gradually does the child learn to subordinate these movements to a specific goal (to take something), to delay them (you cannot touch this thing), etc. But in preschoolers, younger schoolchildren, and sometimes even older ones, the process of arousal still predominates ...

One of the largest specialists in the field of studying the higher nervous activity of children, Professor N.I.Krasnogorsky points out that raising a child means first of all s. from the earliest childhood to exercise and strengthen the inhibitory mechanisms of the cerebral cortex. On the other hand, it is necessary to carefully protect the child's extremely vulnerable, only nascent nervous system from catastrophic conflicts of excitation with the inhibitory process. In their attempts to limit the child's too violent reactions, adults must take into account his individual characteristics, the intensity of the reflex that they want to inhibit. Insufficient assessment of these two factors in the family and in child care institutions can sometimes cause the onset of childhood neuroses.

The physiological doctrine of Academician I.P. Pavlov illuminates children's whims and stubbornness in a new way and refutes some previous views.

Previously, it was assumed that the well-known childhood age, in particular the senior nursery and younger preschool, are characterized by whims and stubbornness, that they have biological roots and are an inevitable
plant phenomenon. This is only relatively true. Since a child of an early age has a cerebral cortex, its higher volitional functions are not yet sufficiently developed, all his behavior is determined by desires and feelings. Hence the sometimes sharp reaction of children of this age to the word "no", to prohibitions. From about three years of age, we can talk about some presence of a volitional process. One of the manifestations of volitional development is stubbornness. A child at this age may even refuse what he wants in spite of adults, just to show his will. He seeks to manifest his "I" in everything, and hence his collisions with others.

At this age, sometimes another feature of the behavior of children begins to appear, which doctors call negativism - a negative attitude towards all the influences of the external environment, an extreme degree of stubbornness. The child is told “do it”, but he does just the opposite. Such a child cannot stand the expectation or the added effort of the necessary routine activities. If he wants to eat, and they say to him: "wait, now it will be warmed up", he already says: "I don't want to." If you need to sit down at the table, and they say to him: "wash your hands", he refuses to eat. Usually this feature does not appear in a sharp form and does not last long.

We draw the attention of parents to the fact that it is not necessary to vigorously insist on the immediate fulfillment of the requirement presented to the thawed child - this leads to an even greater increase in negativism. A tone of command should be avoided when dealing with such children. It is necessary to address them as if with a request, a proposal. You can act as a distraction, switching the child's attention to something else.

The mistake is made by those parents who forbid the child even what he can be allowed. When a child constantly hears a rude shouting, “don’t you dare, you can’t,” he begins to protest, becomes stubborn and angry. But on the other hand, if parents prohibit something thoughtfully, with a reason, then it is necessary not to back down from this, despite the screams and tears. In no case should the child get the impression that what you want can be achieved by crying.

Each child requires, of course, an individual approach. It is necessary to study the features of his character, to understand the reasons for the emergence of whims and stubbornness in each particular case. If it is difficult for the mother to do it herself, get a doctor. After all, whims and stubbornness are always a sign of some kind of discontent, irritation, imbalance in the nervous system. The type of the child's nervous system must be considered. Children are timid, shy, shy, especially proud, whiny, sometimes sharply inhibited, inactive usually have a weak nervous system. They are more likely than others to be in a bad mood, dissatisfaction. They are very touchy, vulnerable and therefore need a particularly sensitive, careful attitude.When presenting requirements to them, one must always consider whether these are feasible requirements for their nervous system.
Irritability, whims can be associated with any disease - a general weakening of the body after an infection, tuberculosis intoxication, and finally, nervousness. Nervous children are sensitive to irritations that others might not notice. They are affected by the fact that they did not sleep well, and poor digestion, and an increase or decrease in barometric pressure; in inclement, cloudy weather they feel worse, in sunny weather they feel better.

In a small child, behavior is most inextricably linked with the state of health, therefore, educational measures are closely related to medical ones. If a child, who was previously calm, suddenly begins to be capricious, it is imperative to show him to the doctor, strictly follow the "prescribed regime.

Often, the cause of whims and stubbornness is improper upbringing, for example, excessive fondness, spoiledness, which often happens in families with an only child. Sometimes, on the contrary, children are made capricious and stubborn by the too harsh behavior of adults that does not take into account the legal requirements of childhood.
If you understand the reasons for whims and stubbornness, it is much easier to prevent them. It is necessary to abandon the desire at all costs to overrule the child, to insist on his own. An attempt to over-obstinate usually causes only an intensification and lengthening of the whim and, therefore, more reinforces the bad habit of being stubborn. Sometimes it is helpful to make a small concession that is invisible to the child. When a whim begins, it is useful to distract the child's attention, but this must be done skillfully: if the child guesses that this is being done on purpose, he will become more stubborn. You can do this: without addressing the child directly, you must, for example, go to the window and say: "What a cloud is floating, just like a bear!" The child will not immediately, but still switch to something else and forget about his whim. It is harmful to pay attention to such a child, to persuade, to calm down. It is better to leave him alone, discreetly observing him from a distance, or even better - from another room, because at the moment an adult is an additional irritant for the child's nervous system.

You cannot approach a preschooler with the same yardstick as an adult. Due to the physiological characteristics of his nervous system, a child cannot always quickly switch his attention from one to another, quickly fulfill the adult's demand.

IP Pavlov wrote: “If I, for example, am busy with something, I am guided by a certain irritable process, and if at this time I am told“ do this ”, it becomes unpleasant for me. This means, after all, that the forceful irritable process that occupied me, I need to slow down and then move on to another. A classic example in this respect is the so-called capricious children. You order them to do something, that is, you require the child to slow down one irritable process and start another. And it often comes to a strong scene. The child throws himself on the floor, knocks his feet, etc. ”.

It is sometimes helpful to give children early warning of what is required of them. If a child needs, for example, to sit down to eat or go to bed, you should warn him for some time: "Vasya, you will have to finish the game soon, in ten minutes you have to go to bed." In about five minutes, repeat this warning again. By the time the child really has to finish the game and go to bed, the child will be ready to do it without objection.

Under the influence of some sudden stimulus, which leads a certain part of the brain into a state of strong excitement, even adults, and even more so children, temporarily lose the ability to understand what happened, are not aware of their mistakes and are unable to cope with the feeling of resentment or anger that gripped them ...If at such a moment you turn to the child with remarks, it may happen that the new stimulus will not only not calm, but, on the contrary, will further increase the excitement, which will worsen the situation. If a child who has done something wrong is in a state of excitement, you should not demand that he immediately apologize.

You shouldn't even shout at him. A strong irritant, such as a loud voice, a sharp shout, quickly depletes the nerve elements of the brain. It is better to use stimuli of medium strength, but in some cases it is useful to resort to very weak stimuli. By the way, we have tested in practice and recommend using the following technique in order to switch children's attention: instead of shouting, let the adult begin to speak quietly, thereby forcing the child to strain his hearing in order to hear his words.

Children sense the tone more strongly than the content of the words, and respond to it more energetically. An excited tone is a strong irritant, even for adults, and children are much more suggestible and impressionable. Children, especially lively ones, flare up at a harsh shout like gunpowder. Some of them come into a state of sharp excitement, while others have strong inhibition, and extreme stubbornness appears. And adults, instead of disarming children with their self-control, allow themselves to be aroused too.

We can offer parents one simple, but really useful trick: the child greatly upset you, blood rushed to your head, you lose the ability to reasonably discuss what happened. Forcing yourself to step aside, take three slow, deep breaths. Deep breaths will improve blood circulation in the brain, two or three minutes that you spend in silence will help regain your composure, and then in a calmer state you will decide what to do.

I would like to warn parents and educators so that they struggle with their sometimes feeling of dislike for a capricious child. An unpleasant feeling, no matter how you try to hide it, will always be noticed by the child, and this greatly interferes with productive educational work. We must try to delve deeper into the personality of the child, to understand the reason for his whims. When you understand the child, the feeling of dislike for him will disappear, it will be easier to find the right pedagogical method.

The teacher must always look for good qualities in the child, rely on them, develop and strengthen. After all, it is necessary to educate, not only by struggling with shortcomings. It is necessary to form positive conditioned reflexes, and not reinforce negative ones, constantly pointing to them.

This is especially true for some bad habits, obsessive movements, such as blinking, twitching shoulders, etc. In order for this habit to disappear as soon as possible, one should not fix the child's attention on it, but, as far as possible, switch his attention, distract.

In conclusion, I would like to recall the wonderful words of the talented Soviet teacher A. Makarenko: “Raising children is the most important area of ​​our life. Our children are future citizens of our country and citizens of the world. They will make history. Our children are future fathers and mothers, they will also be the educators of their children. Our children should grow up to be wonderful citizens, good fathers and mothers. But this is not all: our children are our old age. Correct upbringing is our happy old age, bad upbringing is our future grief, these are our tears, this is our fault before other people, before the whole country. "

Associate professor L. V. Pisareva, "Health" magazine, 1957

The whims and behavior of children